Monday, November 17, 2008

DR. WIZARD’S SURPRISE TWIST ENDINGS FOR EVERYDAY USEAGE!

Thank you, thank you, it’s great to be back on the internet. Now, I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention the way I’ve been paying it, but the big thing in Hollywoodville and Book Central is the Surprise Twist Ending. I know you’ve seen them too, the It Was Her Brother All Along, or It Was All a Dream, or the ever-popular They Were Actually the Same Person Somehow But One Died. It sure takes a so-so scenario and gooses it up a gosling, doesn’t it? In fact, it’s so effective; I’ve decided it should be put to everyday use. So the next time you find yourself sharing that boring anecdote about Cousin Shirley’s dog running away or composing an e-mail about your night of cooking pork roast and watching America’s Got Models, spice it up a little with these Surprise Twist Endings. Spoiler Alert: You’ll love ‘em!
-She was actually the ghost of her mother the whole time!
-I wasn’t actually wearing the striped shirt!
-The calls were coming from the other end of the phone!
-She’s my dog and my cat!
-The house was built on an Indian Pet Cemetery!
-The beard was more of a goatee!
-I never actually told her where I was going!
-I didn’t wash my hands!
-I did wash my hands, but I didn’t actually go to the bathroom… nothing came out!
-Halfway through dinner I morphed from myself to a woman named Alice Munroe!
-Also, my husband was faking his death for the insurance!
-The mums were really lilies!

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