OMG, you guys! I just got back from the sweetest temp gig ever! The Radicool Pizza Temp Agency texted me yester-to the-day for a two-day job as a lion tamer. ROFL over and over and over and over again, right? Totally!
So yeah I headed over to the Fingerling Bros. Circus and was sent to the head lion tamer Mike Bodega. He gave me this badass whip and woody-smelling chair. He also gave me this pith helmet I had to wear- on my head! Gross! Mike was hot and he was 45 and had a salt-and-pepper beard with I think a hint of cumin. There were like all these wood chips around like someone had like puked and then like I almost puked from thinking about like puking. LMAO!
The first day Mike pretended to be a lion and I whipped him and chaired him. It was pretty hot IMHO, but YMMV. The next day he had me actually taming out the lions. I had to get all up in the grill of this jungle king and get a mad whiff of his NSFW breath. P to the U! But I used all the skillz Mike showed me like giving what he called bedroom eyes and showing my midriff and the lion totally rolled over, just like Mike. I then got my $$$.
So yeah lion taming totally PWNs and all that, but I don’t think I’d wanna do it for realz full-timez yo. I’m just so not a cat person. Or a wearer of yuckified pith helmets! C-Ya!
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