MY FAN-FICTION OF MYSELF

As I have no fanbase yet to speak of, I'm forced to create my own fan-fiction. Below is my first attempt. Enjoy! And know this: the ball is officially in your court.

THE M.J. HANSEN FAN-FICTION

One bright and neato day Justin Timberlake and Clint Eastwood and Martin Short and Jessica Alba were eating a picnic in a park on a picnic blanket. There was potato salad and fried chicken and mashed-potatoes and New York-style cheesecake. Just then Michael J. Fox arrived as Marty McFly and Elisabeth Shue was totally there, too.

"What a fun picnic," Elisabeth Shue said, between bites of fried chicken and mashed-potatoes. 

"I guess so," Clint Eastwood said, "but it would be so much nicer around here if M.J. Hansen were around here," Clint Eastwood said.

As if on perfect exact cue, M.J. Hansen arrived on his sweet jetpack and corduroy hat. He was sipping a mug of coffee which was emblazoned with the phrase, "World's Best M.J. Hansen Coffee Mug." He smiled at the group of his best friends. "Am I late?" he quipped to them.

"No, you ever never late ever, even if you are handsomer than me," Justin Timberlake stated.

"More handsome, you mean," M.J. Hansen grammar-corrected the pop superstar.

"That's heavy," Michael J. Fox as Marty McFly retorted, in his life preserver-like vest.

Everyone laughed, and the ice she was broken. "I brought tampenade and my world famous crostini," M.J. Hansen reported to the picnickers. 

"That is some good food," Jessica Alba noticed in her bikini. 

"How-we wow-wee wow!" Martin Short added. They all laughed at the zaniness of his antics. 

Just then, Cylons attacked the picnic site, shooting laser-blasts willy-nilly and hither-thither. Everyone at the picnic hid in the trees, and they all looked their eyes over to M.J. Hansen for his advice, even Clint Eastwood. "Don't worry, best friends, I'll take command of the dastardly situation. Justin Timberlake, you distract them with your dance movements. Martin Short, tell them jokes to make them in stitches. Clint Eastwood, you need to be the XO."

"You want him to be the kiss-hug?" Jessica Alba asked kind of cutely.

"No, he's like second-in-command okay?" M.J. Hansen responded toward her. 

Everyone did their part and it worked greatly. Even God was impressed. So impressed He declared the Bible officially the Autobiography of M.J. Hansen. Everyone agreed this was a good decision. Even Clint Eastwood. 

"What do we do now?" asked the Justin Timberlake. 

"What else? Let's eat!" M.J. Hansen made everyone laugh again and again and again.

THE END