Anyone not in the know does not know that the quickest way to make a fast buck is in the Hallmark Hall of Fame Film biz. Hallmark Hall of Fame movies tug at your heartstrings relentlessly, like a crazed harpist or a puppeteer with better things to do. The best Hallmark Hall of Fame movies take place during the holidays, and what better holiday than Christmas. None better, that’s right. So I present to you the tagline and memorable quotes for what will someday possibly be a modern day holiday staple, The Velveteen Landlady. It’s a heartwarming story of an icy landlady who warms up to become saintly just in time for Christmastime. Enjoy!
TAGLINE: She found a new lease on life- in the credit union of her heart.
MEMORABLE QUOTES:
Sue: You people think love means never having to pay your rent. I say, in that case, love means you’re out on your ass! Call it the Socratic Method!
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Tiny Tina: My dad is dead, my mom is in a coma, my brother’s got non-Hodgman’s Limpwristia and I’ve got a terminal case of the vapours. But at least we have a place to live. It’s the best Christmas ever!
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Mary Ellen: Sue, how did you get so mean-spirited?
Sue: I’ve always hated Christmas. My parents didn’t believe in me, so I was constantly neglected.
Mary Ellen: So they kept you from following your dreams?
Sue: No, they literally didn’t believe in me. People would ask about me, and my parents wouldn’t know who they were talking about. I was like Santa Claus to them, only my belly wasn’t a bowl full of jelly. It was bowl full of sadness.
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Ghost of Christmas Dolls: Sue Ebekneez, you’ve forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. It’s about love and forgiveness and forgetness, but also about rememberness, of the good things. In short, cheer up, crabtard!
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Mary Ellen: But I-I’ve no place to go!
Sue: Well, maybe three wiseguys could take you to a manger in the North Pole with Santa Christ and Joseph the Elf Carpenter.
Mary Ellen: You had to try hard to be that wrong.
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Ghost of Christmas Parties: You know why they call it eggnog, don’t you? Because it’s made of eggs and you nog if you drink too much of it!
Sue: That doesn’t make sense.
Ghost of Christmas Parties: Hey, who’s the ghost here?
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Sue: I believe! I believe in miracle ears! And brides of frankincense and myrrh-myrrh’s of the heart! And I feel as though a great weight has been lifted off of my hairpiece! Everyone can live forever free and at reduced rates! Amen Christmas, whoever you are!
Tiny Tina: And God bless us everybody!
Sue: Don’t get greedy, kid. Jesus!
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