Monday, January 11, 2010

CUBICLE, PART II: DISCRIMINATION

KENDRA
Isn’t remembering fun? Now, let’s talk about something not nearly as fun. Discrimination! Not an attractive word, is it? You may say that, but you’d then be caught in a web of discrimination yourself. A web not full of flies, but of hate, misunderstandings, and maybe flies. Let’s break down the word to get to the root of the problem. The first part of discrimination is Dis, which any young person can tell you means to insult, as in, “I should not have dissed that black man’s shoes, perhaps he has a gun!” The next part of the word is crimin, as in criminal, because if you discriminate, you are a criminal, and the police will shoot you. And lastly, there’s nation, which symbolizes that this problem faces the entire United Nation of the Americas. But how do you recognize discrimination in the workplace? I’m glad I asked. Let’s take a look at this scenario by the Stock Players and see if it contains any examples of discrimination. If you see any, keep them to yourself, no one likes a braggart.

(Stock Players enter.)

MARY
Did you see that scary movie on TV last night?

GARY
Sure did! It really gave me the heebie-jeebies, especially when they killed that Oriental with an axe.

MARY
Please, don’t use such offensive language. The correct term is Hebrew Jewbies.

GARY
I didn’t know you belonged to that crazy religion, sugar boobs.

MARY
My religious beliefs are none of your biz-wax! And don’t call me sugar boobs, it’s offensive and demeaning.

GARY
Forgive me, Splenda boobs.

MARY
Not okay! And Oriental is a rug, not a race. Be more sensitive, my grandfather was a rug salesman.

GARY
You look like the granddaughter of a rug salesman, what with the dark hair and skinny forearms.

MARY
That’s a stereotype that I resent resembling! Recant that remark, you horrid co-worker!

GARY
All this… racial tension… causing… cardiac… arrest.

(Gary collapses.)


MARY
Though he is a terrible racist, I hope he doesn’t die. Because I’m better than him.

(Lights down on Stock Players, back up on Kendra.)

KENDRA
As you can see, discrimination hurts more than those being discriminated against. It hurts those doing the discriminating as well. It’s really a shit deal for everyone. Now, how can that same scenario be played out so that discrimination never even enters the picture? Stock Players, take it away!

(Lights back up on Stock Players.)

MARY
Did you see that scary movie on TV last night?

GARY
Talk about Hebrew Jewbies! And when that person of Unknown Asian Descent was axed? With an axe? It was so gruesome! But I know you can handle it, because men and women are equal, in the eyes of whichever deity we choose.

MARY
My grandfather was a rug salesman.

(Lights out on Stock Players, back to Kendra.)

KENDRA
That was much better! And it proves that discrimination is wrong, regardless of a person’s race, occupation, or if they worship God, Jew God, Allah, Vishnu, Ghost Dad, or Spock's brother. And always remember the Four F’s of Tolerance: Freedom, Forgiveness, Friendship and the Fourth F.

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