"Someone should tell those work vehicles to get off their high horse. No one wants to follow you into your work area."
-Des Moines Man
"To the woman who said sarcasm doesn't translate to the printed word, what a genius you are. When do you get your Pulitzer?"
-West Des Moines Woman
"Twinkums! Twinkums"
-East Side Girl
"Meow"
-East Side Cat
"I Live in Clive!"
-Clive Resident
"Kids suck."
Anne Ramsey, The Goonies
"Where did all these auto-mobiles come from?"
-Really Really Old Person
"Can a racist really appreciate a butterfly?"
-Ankeny Moron
"What's the square root of 72?"
-Some kid trying to cheat on his math test
"Hello? Hello?"
-Wrong Number
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