THE CRITICS WEIGH IN: BLURBS FOR A NONEXISTENT NOVEL

“Like Charles Dickens on acid, or Hemingway meets Frankenstein.”

-New York Book Review Publication


“A tour de force, a Tour De France, a Francis Buxton, I just watched Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure!”

-Joan Bunke


“Reminiscent of John Grisham, only without the pretentious, hacky undertones.”

-Tom Clancy


“It’s Tennessee Williams on heroin, or Truman Capote on Tennessee Williams, fun for the whole family!”

-Seattle Evening-Morninger


“Tom Clancy is a prick.”

-John Grisham


“Prose resembles Raymond Carver on Prednisone, or maybe a generic brand knock-off Prednisone.”

-Los Angeles


“John Grisham is a no-talent freak who attacks other authors in blurbs.”

-Tom Clancy


“Like an acid trip on heroin, wrapped in a hash brownie and in cardiac arrest, a real page-turner.”

-The FDA


“You started it!”

-John Grisham


“Did not!”

-Tom Clancy


“Did too!”

-John Grisham


“Guys, please stop fighting. This argument is like an acid trip in cardiac arrest on speed. It needs to stop.”

-Sue Grafton


“Moo!”

-Jane Smiley