In a car racing down the street.
A: No! Don’t go left! Go right, right! No!
B: Too late, I already turned left, whatever are we to do, whatever are we to do?
A: Circle around the block, circle it, circle! No! Don’t pull into the driveway and back out again! Don’t! They’ll catch us for sure! At least turn off your headlights, it’s rude!
B: Too late, I couldn’t help it! Headlights ahoy!
A: They’re on our tail now for sure, you bet, hot soup! Hot soup!
B: Look out look out look out look out look out look out! Crash! Wait, no crash! We made it.
A: We’re not out sight yet, hold onto your potato bugs. Just keeps your eyes on the road and metal-to that pedal.
Another car.
C: Shifting gears is a cinch, we’ll have those criminals in our headlights in no time!
D: There they are, look out and keep up! Ride their tail like a flea on a dog, only less itchy. They won’t signal their turns, not in a car chase of this magnitude.
C: Exceptional excitement, we’re having here! Squealing tires and bing-bang-boom brakeage.
D: I choose not to put it better myself, compadre!
C: I just hope my sudden and inopportune narcolepsy doesn’t strike suddenly.
D: Don’t jinx the bullfrog, boy! We need to stay on these felons like a cat on a hot tin roof in heat that looks like a slutty cat!
C: It’s too late, oh no! Snore! Snore!
D: Wake up, wake up! Oh, the slumbering humanity!
Back to the first car.
A: I think we lost them.
B: I think you lost me.
A: No way, baby, I got you right where I want you. In the rearview mirror of my love.
B: I can’t believe you just said that.
A: Me neither! Look out!
B: Aaaaaaaaah!
A: Aaaaaaaaah!
Their car drives, swerves and Tokyo drifts through a house full of antiques, a dog show, a museum, The Grapes of Wrath, Who By Numbers and several rare expensive antique vases. They emerge unscathed, unfettered, underworse for underwear.
Back to the second car.
C: I’m up! I’m up! What’d I miss?
D: You slept through the car chase, the wedding, our honeymoon, our kidses birthdays and graduations and our retirement parties.
C: How was the cake?
D: Indescribable! In a word: cake.
C: Look out! I’m gonna cry!
D: Hit the brakes of your tear ducts like a crawdad, I was just kidding. You’ve only been asleep for twenty minutes. We’re at the bottom of a lake is all.
C: Fuh-shoe! I almost just about back there!
D: Get us out of the lake!
C: Too late!
D: No! Stop, shark! Don’t bite, no!
They are eaten by a shark.
The End.
1 comment:
Loved the Tokyo Drift through the Grapes of Wrath.
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