YE OLDE FAMILIE FEUDE-UH

As far back as the 1855's the clan Henderschmitt ruled the small hamlet of Scrod with a collective iron fist, made much more fierce by the fact that there were six of them and so there were 29 fingers in that iron fist (poor Clyde lost one of his digits in a tragic gate-crushing-his-finger accident.) There were only two other families who resided (resode? resinded? resided) in the small town, the Mariokarts and the Phenoms. The Phenoms, in particular, were a passive bunch, consisting of mother Ma Phenom, father Pa Phenom and daughter Son Phenom (the ultrasound was faulty.)They spend their days tending to their livestock, and burying their deadstock. On special occasions, they would dress up in each others' clothes and pretend this was an acceptable way to celebrate special occasions. The Mariokarts, on the other hand, were a far more aggressive family. They were four brothers who had inherited the haunted Mariokart mansion, and spent all their time on their front lawn so as not to disturb the ghosts. Luigi, in particular, was a bitter man, taken to spitting at passersby and claiming it was acid rain. The Henderschmitts hated the Mariokarts who hated the Henderschmitts as well. It all came to a head December 18, 1872, when the Mariokarts finally took matters way too far, throwing a half-eaten turkey in the Henderschmitts’ lawn. Civil war broke out. Fist were thrown, curses hurled, feelings wounded. At the end, both families lay dead or dying, nearly twenty-five minutes after the war had started. Today, Scrod is populated entirely by Phenoms, still perfectly passive, though now horrifically inbred.